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Showing results for tags 'breakdowns'.
I'm really really tired I guess. Um for context I'm in my gap year preparing for med school entrance and yeah the academic pressure is high. My first attempt was right after 12th grade- and I didn't get in, my parents reacted so badly that I'll never forget it and so did my siblings. Anyways I'm working hard now and I feel very detached to them now because they made me feel like a burden and stuff, but they do talk to me and stuff and my siblings are home -my eldest sis didn't come for 2-3 years so it's quite an event. I feel kinda guilty for not spending time with her and analysing her texts and stuff but I feel so angry too. I feel so tired that the only thing I've done in my entire life is study, and please everyone and I'm slipping and need help because now I'm randomly having breakdowns in the middle of everything. I don't know how to fix this anymore and I wish I could ask for help, and everything is so blurry and tiring that even breathing hurts sometimes. My sis told me yesterday that she really needed meto do some stuff and "I just want you to remember that" and I just had a breakdown day before that. Right after I stopped crying she told me to analyse the texts. I feel so angry and tired and vulnerable and I don't want to do anything I don't want to interact and whenever I see at them and my parents all I can remember is how sh-tty they made me feel when I failed. I was always good at academics always good at most things but they were never proud or anything and the moment I failed everything came crashing down. Tomorrow is my sister's doctor appointment but I don't wish to go because all I feel is that everyone has a career and a job and I can't help but remember everyone's reactions to my failure. Am I overreacting in being detached to everyone? What would you do in this situation?