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  1. I am 18. Something is very wrong idk what is happening anymore. I don't know what is real I don't know who I am or what I am supposed to be doing with myself. I feel paranoid so bad lately that I feel even inanimate objects are alive and are going to kill me or hurt me. I can't walk home at night without feeling like the street lights are whispering or going to get me. I don't know what to do. I hate myself, I feel like everyone hates me in secret or is out to get me. I wish I could just die but I don't want to leave my sister behind. I'm so overwhelmed I don't know what to do. Nobody in my toxic/abusive family will get me mental help I need and keep pushing me off and I feel like my world is falling apart. I feel so ugly, awful and alone. I don't want to be here I wish someone would just help me not feel so erratic and unstable. I don't want to die but it feels like everyone wants me too. I just want to be stable enough to sit down and relax without all these swarming emotions and invasive thoughts. please any advice helps I just need to read another living beings opinions or support on my situation.
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