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Asher

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Asher last won the day on July 24

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About Me

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    Hey! My name isn’t Asher yet, but I hope to change it to that at some point! I’m nonbinary and pansexual and really happy to finally have people like me to talk to!!!
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    They/Them pls

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  1. Hey, it’s me again. I came out to my best friend as pan and nonbinary a couple of weeks ago, and she made it clear that she doesn’t support this part of me but will still love and support me in every other part of my life. The thing is… all I really want is a friend who can relate to what I’m going through that I can talk about this stuff with without judgement. I asked her just now if she thinks there’s even a slight chance that she’ll ever support me in the future… and she said no. She didn’t give a reason, just a simple “no”. Who knew a single word could hurt so much? I guess I brought this onto myself… I asked her the question even though I kinda already knew the answer. All I’m asking for rn is some kind words from a stranger I guess. I want someone to tell me that everything’s going to be ok, because at this moment, I don’t have anyone to tell me that in real life.
  2. I haven’t come out to my parents yet, but I have recently come out to a couple of my friends. It kinda sucked tbh, but it felt really good to get off my chest. For context, all of my friends and family are homo/bi/transphobic Christians, so none of the people I’ve come out to have been very supportive. My first friend told me that she would try her best to support me, but she won’t support other people in the lgbtq+ community since “she doesn’t believe in that”. And of course her first reaction was the classic “you don’t like ME, right???” lol. So far she seems like the kind of person that ok with it as long as we don’t have to talk about it. My second friend also told me that she would still be there for me and love me, but she doesn’t support this part of me. Later that night she sent me this long drawn out message with a whole bunch of Bible verses basically threatening me with eternal pain and suffering just for being me. She said that she wasn’t pressuring me, she “just wants to help”. So far she doesn’t know that I’m not a Christian anymore. I sent a long drawn out message back explaining that she was wrong in many different ways and that she wasn’t helping anything, and so far she hasn’t responded. I made sure she knew that I’m not angry with her and that I just want her to understand, but I think I kind of scared her. I hope someday they will understand that there’s really nothing wrong with who I am and that they can’t change me, because these are a couple of my closest friends. I just hope that I won’t have to let go of them for something this petty.
  3. I think I can trust her to go through with what she said. Thanks for all the help!
  4. Thanks, I’m excited! I guess she didn’t really say anything when he was being mean to his friends. She didn’t join in with him, but she also didn’t tell him to stop. This happened at school, so the friend reported him to the office and we were called in as witnesses. I was the only one that sided with his friend when talking to the principal.
  5. Yeah, I think you’re right. She’s told me that she’s going to try her best to support me and not judge me, so I think everything will turn out ok.
  6. My summer has been great! I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with my friends and family. I actually just got back from a trip to Montana 3 days ago to visit my mom’s side of the family. I’m leaving again for a camp tomorrow so I won’t be able to get on here for another week or so. I’m not sure how strict of a Christian she is, I guess I’ll just have to wait and see. I know her boyfriend (my other close friend) is super strict with his beliefs, and he’s told me countless times that he thinks gay people and “people who are one gender that think they’re another gender” are ridiculous. He’s said that he can never support people like that, and he’s shown it with how he treats other friends that came out to him. Im kind of worried that she’ll side with him since he’s her boyfriend. I don’t plan on coming out to him for a while though since I don’t want to deal with what he has to say about me for the rest of high school.
  7. Maybe… I’ll probably test the waters a bit when we go shopping together. I really want to find some men’s clothes to add to my closet, so maybe I can get her to go look for some with me.
  8. Hey, it’s been a little while since I’ve been on here! Summer has been pretty busy haha. I think it’s probably best to move on… I told her a couple of weeks ago that there was something I wanted to tell her when we’re alone. She knows that I’m pretty nervous about it and she’s told me that she’ll try to be as supportive as possible. But when we were talking about it again, she told me that she would be fine with whatever it is as long as it’s not illegal and isn’t against the Bible. I don’t think the lgbtq+ community is against the Bible, but most Christians do think so, so I have a feeling she won’t be totally ok with it at first.
  9. Idk, I think she’s accepted it but I still don’t think she’s the kind of friend that I’d be able to talk with about a cute girl I like or how I want to get a binder. It’s just a feeling tho
  10. I guess it’s always possible that she could like girls as well as guys, but I’m not sure. I’m planning on coming out to her soon, so I guess if she does like girls then that might make her more comfortable with telling me too. I think I’m going to keep my crush on her a secret as long as she’s with my other friend though. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.
  11. I’m feeling a lot better now she’s not acting any differently around me. I was a little unsure at first but I’m really happy I told her now.
  12. I never knew just how much stuff I had to rant about until I came onto this site… somehow I feel kind of selfish for piling so many of my problems onto the mentors here. It’s a weird feeling. But anyways, I have a friend that I’ve been best friends with for 4 years now. Ive always cared deeply for her and I’d consider her my closest friend at the moment. We used to think of each other as sisters, and I guess she still kind of does. Ive loved her for a long time now, but at first I just thought of it as a sisterly kind of love. It wasn’t until about a year and a half ago that I discovered what I felt for her might be something more. After all, it’s not exactly normal for me to get all fluttery and flustered every time I held her hand, or when she leaned her head on my shoulder if I just thought of her as my sister, is it? She was the reason I started questioning my sexuality in the first place. Back then I was pretty freaked out by my feelings, and denied them for a long time. I’m a Christian, so I used to think that liking girls as a girl was a sin. But now I’ve come to realize that liking girls is perfectly fine. I just got really unlucky with the girl I ended up falling for. She’s both straight AND dating my other best friend. At first I thought I was fine with it. I was happy for them! They’ve liked each other for a while now. But today, they kissed in front of me for the very first time, and I was shocked. I felt this overwhelming sadness that I really wished would go away. I wished I was him. I already know that the only thing I can do in this situation is get over her, so I guess I’m just asking for support.
  13. Asher

    Fave colour???

    Cool! Tbh I’m kinda scared of the ocean it’s so dark and deep and we know so little about it… my poor little overthinking mind can’t take it
  14. Hm, maybe… but I’m also pretty serious about getting better at the piano. I guess I’ll talk to my parents about it and figure out what I can do so I can keep doing piano as well as learn Japanese.
  15. Yeah, I think you’re right about her not wanting to make me uncomfortable. I know she could see how scared I was before I told her, and I did make her promise not to react badly. I hope this also means she’s accepting it! That would make me so happy
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