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melanie.007

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  1. hi monsoon i was in a moment of vulnerability but now i am ok,idk for how long tho i just woke up,had a cup of tea,and i am now talking with a friend on the phone. how are you?
  2. hi monsoon me and bounce have fallen off. i should've seen the signs. i'm in pain again,i want to feel appreciated and loved. i miss him a lot,and it's really hard to act like i'm so okay with him leaving and that i moved on,but love doesn't go away so easily. i just want him back.
  3. Hi Monsoon, Everything is just in shades of black and gray..
  4. Sorry for replying now. It's ok. I know that you want to make sure that I'm fine. I'm feeling so much worse. Everything is in black and grey shades,I don't have a reason to smile. Ion hates me. I don't get along with my dad and mom anymore. I distance myself because I feel like I annoy everyone. Online school is stressful,teachers have so many expectations from us,especially me. I feel like there is so much pressure on me. I just want to be at peace. I want to disappear.
  5. Hi Monsoon! I'm not doing so well anymore. I just feel hopeless. School is hard. I'm making Baunsi feel bad. My parents are constantly fighting. I just want everything to stop. I want to be at peace.
  6. Hi Monsoon! I wanted to make this post special,by posting it on my birthday(it was yesterday) but I got busy.. Things have been going a bit better for me,I have hope for tomorrow. Right now I'm feeling down and a bit sad,my anxiety is really bad but I'm trying to keep myself as calm as i can and focus on the things that I like. Things betwen me and Baunsi/Ion have been better,we're getting along really well. I'm just starting to feel like I'm starting to annoy him a lot,I'll try to fix this,I really want it to last. School has been a bit weird,we're stuck with going to school for 2 weeks and then staying and doing online school(now I'm in online school,it's pretty stressful.) In my freetime I started reading and watching Kitchen Nightmares,I really do enjoy the "serie".
  7. I'm hoping that I'll finally stop feeling so empty all the time.I've been needing that for a long time now. Today is just like any other day,I don't have the motivation for anything. I feel like I'm slowly giving up.
  8. I don't usually have a lot of patience,but if this is what I have to do in order to get better,I'm down. I just feel like whatever i do is not enough,I wish that I could be able to do something more(Even thought sometimes I give everything inside me for certain things.). That's just how my brain works. I think that the only "open wound" that I have is my mom not accepting me for who I am,that's the most hurtful thing that I've ever felt. Even though she tries to be nice with me,I still think about her not being able to accept me. It really does hurt me,even when i think about it
  9. I have't talked with her about something special about her,just made my introduction.
  10. It's been pretty bad,I wish things were different. I just want the pain to stop. I feel so sad and I want to be happy. I feel so empty. I want to know what I've done to deserve this. I don't want to commit suicide as much,but I want to be different. I'm working on it,I try so hard to become better,but I feel like I'm failing.
  11. I haven't really opened fully about my feelings since then,I just get scared of rejection. Every friday I get to meet up with my psychologist,she's pretty nice.
  12. Sorry for replying now.I'm still struggling. I'm trying my best,I promise.
  13. Sorry for replying now,I wasn't notified. I just hate doctors,I've always hated them. I am kinda scared of them tbh,I can't trust them. I don't really talk much,so talking to someone I really trust and have so much love for makes it much easier.
  14. I don't really like the idea,but I want to get better. And if this is the solution,I'm down. Yea,why not. I've been feeling really bad these days,I started feeling like I'm on the verge on ending it. I feel like I'm disappointing everyone. I'm losing every friend that I had and that's just making me worse on the inside. I just wish that I was happier,maybe this wouldn't have happened. I feel like it's my fault,and I really hope that this is not the end,because i care about them SO much and I feel so sad for not being able to show them.
  15. I'd rather not mention who is lying to me at the moment,but some of my closest friends are. Things between me and my mom are a bit better,I've accepted going to a psychologist.
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