Jump to content

Blondie

Digital Mentor
  • Posts

    496
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    13

Posts posted by Blondie

  1. 14 hours ago, Crazygirl said:

    I tried that the teacher just said that the school year ends Friday and if it happens next year to tell them

    That doesn't seem very useful. How do you feel about waiting? Would you rather address it before school breaks up?

  2. Hey @Bee_Is_Yes thanks so much for sharing with us - it takes a lot of courage to open up. Just so you know, if you ever get to a point of depression like that at any time again, you can talk to us (there's also an option to do this confidentially if you prefer) - we're here for you and will support you through. This is a good app to have - it has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful.

     


     

     



     

     

    • Like 1
  3. 🖤🤎❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

    Hey everyone! It's June - Happy Pride Month!!! We’ve handpicked some of our top guides covering tips for coming out, supporting your mates when they come out and being the best ally this Pride season.  

    Coming out is a different journey for everyone, so if you’re not out to friends and family, your identity is completely valid and we’re here if you need us to support you through.  

    Post any questions or comments you have here and one of our mentors will get back to you!

     

     

    Top 11 tips for coming out as lesbian, gay or bi

    8 tips for coming out as trans

    4 ways to support a friend who has come out

    10 ways to be an LGBT ally

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  4. Hey @taeuccci and welcome! It can take a long time (and work!) to be really comfortable with ourselves and all the different things that make us who we are. I imagine that trying to balance your cultural identity with your own sense of self can be challenging. Although it's completely normal to feel this way, a lot of people going through this eventually find a good mix of being able to express yourself which really reflects who you are, with celebrating your culture and all the richness, beauty and diversity that comes with that part of your life. This also ties in with your introduction on feelings of being ugly.  

    Do you think there's a reason why your parents have recently been asking this of you?      

  5. Hi @NightDoug I'm so sorry to hear you've gone though this - it is never right and it is never your fault in any way. While it can be difficult to move on from this, it is absolutely possible. This guide is really helpful: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/rebuilding-your-confidence-after-bullying/ as it helps disrupt the negative patterns of thought we can fall into that are telling us that those people were right and that everyone else sees us that way. It's a step by step process but we;'re here to support you though this. How does this sound?  

  6. Hi @dewberry and stars These 2 guides are a good start: this will help you to improve your mental health https://www.ditchthelabel.org/how-to-look-after-mental-health/ and this one helps you to keep track of how you're feeling: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/9-practical-things-can-keep-track-mental-health/ I'd really like to reassure you that it's about feeling better and accepting yourself for who you are rather than trying to change you. It's great to hear that your parents are accepting and it sounds like they might be able to help you to navigate how you feel this aligns with your faith / your particular church and beliefs as I wonder if they would have mentioned concerns when saying nothing would change. Do you think you could have a conversation with them over this?   

    • Like 1
  7. Hey @Elise it can be really useful to rule out other potential causes when figuring this out such as, do you have any stressful or difficult situations going on in your life? On a scale of 1 - 10, how much impact would you say it is having for you in class, at home and when hanging out with your friends?

  8. Hey, we know how horrible it can be to feel this way. Do you still have those feelings of suicide? Do you have a plan at all? We care about you and want to ensure that you are safe and have support around you in case you need it so do please let us know.

     

    Meanwhile I have included some emergency advice if you need it.

     

    UK: The Samaritans - 116 123 (This is a 24/7 service)

    USA: NSPL - 1-800-273-8255 (This is a 24/7 service)

    This link will give you a list of all crisis lines worldwide: https://www.befrienders.org

     

  9. @LegendScarred Hey, we know how horrible it can be to feel this way. I want to ask you, do you still have those feelings of suicide? Do you have a plan at all? We care about you and want to ensure that you are safe and have support around you in case you need it so do please let us know.

     

    Meanwhile I have included some emergency advice if you need it.

     

    UK: The Samaritans - 116 123 (This is a 24/7 service)

    USA: NSPL - 1-800-273-8255 (This is a 24/7 service)

    This link will give you a list of all crisis lines worldwide: https://www.befrienders.org

     

  10. Hi Chelsie, it's great to hear how understanding you are as a partner and from my perspective it's something that I've heard a lot. Often partners don't want to 'burden' us with their problems and will seek support elsewhere so they can still be the best partner to you. It's actually pretty healthy (just as it would be if they were seeking say, counselling / therapy) to do this but if you feel a little left out by it you could try explaining that you would like them to share some things with you.

    Getting the balance right in a relationship can take time and practice and it may be that he just needs to hear that you're okay with talking about it sometimes. How does that sound?

  11. Hey! Thanks for sharing and your post clearly highlights all of your concerns. From my perspective I have to say that I agree with your husband in that your friendship isn't reciprocated and it feels very one-sided. You have every right to have your friendship both appreciated and respected and to be treated equally.

    I'm wondering if Cindy has fallen into the habit of venting to you and actually see the dynamic very differently, rather than just being intentionally clumsy with your feelings.

    The thing with other people that can be tricky to navigate is we have zero control over their actions and behaviour but we CAN control our responses and reactions.

    What is it that you love about the friendship? I wonder if you would be better served by letting this one naturally fade and start building connections with people who will reciprocate as you completely deserve.

  12. @Techy-Nature Hi! Really glad to have you back after that break. Feel free to write anything here and we can kind of sense check it for you if you would like. Apologies that we mis gendered Deanna too - we'll definitely keep it gender neutral from here.

    One thing thats jumping out to me is the lack of support for you through all this. I know life is often complicated but you seem to be taking on a huge amount of responsibility for everyone. Do you have any close family friends / relatives that could help out and ease the pressure a bit? There may be local authority help that you can get, even if for a few hours a week so you can get a much needed break too.

  13. Hi @Blondie

    Yes, she does know, I´m gay. That´s how we met, in an LGBT+ chatting app. She is also gay herself.

     

    One way would be to ask if she's single. But the wider picture may be tricky due to how far apart you both are. You could also try face timing / skyping to see f there's a chemistry before revealing how you feel.

  14. @Anonymous3831 That's an interesting point with the computer. To super simplify it, I wonder if it needs 'practice' to get in touch with emotions. I know that psychotherapy and CBT have a lot of success with this, plus they are able to offer a safe place to do this so it's measured and you don't suddenly, for example, unleash a torrent of emotions that you are not ready for.

     

    A small way to start could be to practice opening up to people that you trust about an issue that you might need support on and see how that feels. I know that regular physical activity and plenty of rest can help to minimise any stress which should facilitate this. I know that a lot of people also practice mindfulness and meditation to start to get in touch with feelings and emotions. Do you think you could try some of these?

  15. @Marv this is tough for so many people and I was having this exact convo this morning. If everyone remained calm and shopped / purchased normally it would make a massive difference. I understand how this would aggravate your tourettes as often extreme emotions (happy or sad) can really play havoc with this. Did you manage to let it out once you were alone?

    • Like 1
  16. @Anonymous3831 Hey, firstly, usually the best thing to do if someone is talking to you about their problems is to listen and allow them to vent. Ask pertinent questions and acknowledge what they are saying but often people just want an ear and to vent and are not necessarily looking for solutions. This can be hard of you are a natural 'problem solver' but your calm manner may actually be really soothing.

     

    Looking at the bigger picture, feeling numb or disconnected in this way can (but not always) be a sign of underlying issues like depression, stress or anxiety. From my own personal experience, after a particularly traumatic incident, it left me with a form of PTSD and this triggered the numbness. It takes work to move through it and for me, this was regular sessions a counsellor / therapist and talking it all the way through and unpicking everything.

     

    Is your GP understanding? They might be a good place to start.

×
×
  • Create New...