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Blondie

Digital Mentor
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Posts posted by Blondie

  1. 7 minutes ago, MoonieOwl said:

    Sorry! It sort of falls under the blueyish shades and I didn't have time to list all the different shades of colours so I left that for people to say in the chat like how I LOVE pastel shades of colours like lavender and sky blue are just mmmmmmmm cant put it into words!

    Haha that’s true! I love lavender too 😊

    • Like 1
  2. Romantic attraction can make you feel exhilarated, you might feel suddenly self-conscious, your heart can beat faster (I promise I'm not quoting from a cheesy rom com!). With sexual attraction, thinking of being intimate or having sex with that person feels exciting and something that you would like to do.   

  3. 5 hours ago, MoonieOwl said:

    I dont think Ill be able to pull away from the friendship as I sit next to him in school and our parents are close so I'll be offered to go somewhere with him quite often and If i keep refusing it will get awkward.

    Hmmm, that is a little tricky. I know you're not out to your parents yet, but when you are, it might be worth explaining what he can be like so they can support you in spending less time with him outside of school. But that's not to say you should rush to come out - only do that in your own time.

  4. 6 hours ago, Mammu said:

    Heyya! A fellow musician here! So, I think as artists, we all go through that phase of self-doubt. I've had it, multiple times, and still have. All my other artist friends have had some level of self-doubt at some point. There is just one exception to those artists and that's the ones who don't self-doubt. Can you guess how those people could be described as well? Yep, narcissists. Self-doubt isn't a bad thing, it's a good thing. It's kinda similar to a fever. And how do you deal with a fever? Yep, you do nothing, if the fever is not that high. Same with self-doubt. If you have some amount of self-doubt, then that's healthy. Let your mind work around it itself and you can push it forward a bit by, for example, looking at how far you've come. Listen to some stuff that you have composed previously and just look at how far you've come and how much progress you've made! Because I guarantee you, you have made a lot progress.

    On the other hand, if the fever is high and you have a lot of self-doubt then that's not healthy anymore. So, what do we do when a fever is high? We take medication. You know what is the best medication for self-doubt? Compliments from other people and yourself. So, here are some: you are amazing. Your music is amazing, even though I haven't heard it, I know it's amazing. Also, that good grade you got? I'm so proud of you! That is amazing! I'm so happy for you!

    I hope this helps! I know how you feel and just know, you are not alone in this! We artists (who aren't narcissists) are here with you!

    I love this advice!!! 

  5. I realise I made an error in my response - I meant to say to keep talking / communicating with Marta. It sounds like you're unlikely to ever become close to Mia (and understandably given that she outed you) but you can keep and strengthen your friendship with Marta.  

    I know it may not seem like it but it's very likely that Mia gets jealous when you spend time with Marta and has similar worries to you. Although that's not your responsibility and you cannot control other people's thoughts, actions and behaviours, we can be in charge of our own.

    One idea might be to have a dedicated and regular time that you spend with Marta - just the 2 of you, so that no matter who else is hanging out together, you will have that to look forward to. It doesn't even have to be weekly , it could be 2 weekly or once a month. Do you think you could suggest this to Marta?  

  6. One way that can help is to write down all the things that you're worried about so they exists on paper rather than just swirling around inside you. You can also look at them objectively so it's a little easier to see what you can do for each issue. 

    It can help to write down all the negative stuff and then rip it all up. Could you try this do you think? It can just as a starting point, to see how you get on.

  7. Hey @A human being it's completely natural to feel quite fluid on our attractions to people. Some people describe themselves as ACE which is an umbrella term for a variation of romantic and sexual attractions. It's something that usually works itself out over time but it's a huge positive that you are open to being attracted to / having a relationship with the person rather than their sexuality. Even for people who identify as bi, they can experience more of an attraction to one gender than another. 

    And of course, you are right, we can be influenced by our heteronormative society. I think it's important to just take your time and see how relationships develop and how you feel with a particular person. Does that make sense? 

  8. Hi @Pirate24 thank you so much for opening up with us and I'm so sorry that you were subjected to trauma like this (and I'll send you a private message too). As you may already know such an experience can affect our feelings and cause confusion about intimacy, relationships and attraction, but generally are considered not to determine our sexuality. Can I ask if you have ever begun to explore any of this with a therapist or counsellor? 

  9. Hey @Mammu I really relate to this as when I was in junior and then high school this happened with my group of friends. It's really common for some friends to be closer than others and for little clicks to form within friendship groups. These in turn can change as time goes on so it's pretty hard to keep up with and can really mess with how we feel. It's was a hard lesson that I had to learn to accept that my best / closest friends also had other friends who I wasn't close to and wouldn't always get along with. But equally I had other friends that were outside of this group and couldn't understand why my friends would sometimes feel left out.

    It's completely natural to feel jealousy and feel left out as our friendships can be the strongest and closest relationships we have and they therefore mean a lot. I would definitely suggest to keep talking and communicating - if you feel left out or feel that you're being picked on, definitely speak up if you feel confident enough to at the time, as you should't feel the butt of a joke when you just want to hang out with your friends. If you keep communicating with Mia, rather than waiting for it all to build up in a major convo, it could lessen the intensity and stress. What do you think?

  10. Hi @nobita Thanks for sharing with us and I know that dealing with skin problems can be so stressful. Even though we can feel so alone, it's incredibly common. This article might be a good start as it contains a lot of really useful information and advice: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/feeling-bad-about-your-skin/ It's really important to work on your self-esteem while you are dealing with this. Do you currently do anything to relax or boost your esteem?

     

  11. Hi @MoonieOwl Echoing Monsoon's response. It's important to understand your worth as a friend - first off, you deserve to be treated well and with respect. Secondly, it's sad but sometimes we do outgrow friends for all sorts of reasons and I wonder if this has happened here? We all change and grow and it sounds like he doesn't share your values at all and you shouldn't feel like you have to come out to him in order for him to show respect and acceptance for anyone who identifies as LGBTQIA+. When we hang out with friends, I know they can sometimes annoy us but we usually come away feeling better.

    What do you enjoy about hanging out with him? Do you think you might be able to gradually pull away from this friendship? 

  12. Hey @Maybebaby and welcome to our community - I'm glad you found us! Thank you for sharing and it's great that you're taking the time to figure out how you feel. For many people attraction can be very fluid and may not fall into one category (for example, bi) - some people need to feel an emotional connection in order to feel attraction. However you feel, it's all completely valid. I'm sure you'll get a lot from other's stories and we're here for you.   

    • Thanks 1
  13. 3 minutes ago, Crazygirl said:

    Today is the last day of school so I'll have all summer to build up my self-esteem and if they continue when the school year starts again then I'll talk to the teacher again.

    Okay! We've got your back!

  14. Welcome to our community @Mikayla this is a safe space for you to be yourself. I know how difficult this can be but it's important to weigh up possible consequences of coming out. For example, do you think there is any chance that you would be kicked out or your personal safety would be at risk? Let me know and we can chat more. 

  15. Hi @vincent1996  I know confusing this can be to navigate. Had you noticed any changes leading up to this? How would you feel about texting / calling him to talk about it? It could be a simple as he's uninstalled WhatsApp, much like you came off social media. If you speak regularly and clearly value this friendship it's definitely worth trying to have a chat. It might be a simple misunderstanding or even unconnected to you. How does that sound?

  16. 12 hours ago, Koala girl said:

    Hi 

    I really need to tell my Dad that am bisexual but have no idea how to. I also want to tell my friends. But where and how? Can you help?

    Hey @Koala girl can I ask is there is a specific reason you need to tell you dad now? I fully understand that it can feel really daunting but it's your journey and you should only ever do it in your own time and not feel pressured to say anything before you feel ready.

    How do you normally get on with your dad? Do you have any idea of how you think he'll react? Let me know and we can work it out together :)    

  17. 12 hours ago, Crazygirl said:

    I don't even know why they hate me

    I'm sorry you had this experience - it's important to remember that it's always because of the attitudes of the person/people doing the bullying that are at fault. For example, if someone experiences racist hate, it is the racist attitudes that are wrong and not a person's skin colour which they should rightly be proud of. It's hard to remember this sometimes when we have these experiences but it can help to flip the narrative.   

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