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Digital Mentor
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Everything posted by Blondie

  1. Blondie


    It's so hard when you miss a friend so much. They really can be as close as (or sometimes closer in some cases) than family as we share so much with them. Can you get a regular catch up with them booked in so that you always have that to look forward to?
  2. Yes, it sounds like a really positive step! Even if at this point, you simply get your thoughts down so you have a starting point to move forward from. I'm so pleased that you're being listened to - you deserve that.
  3. Hey @Spoink and welcome! I can completely understand why you would want to resolve this - it can be uncomfortable and unpleasant living with conflict or awkwardness. Firstly, it's great that you acknowledge what you may have not handled well. As you know, we all communicate in varying ways and they don't always compliment each other. It doesn't always make other ways wrong - just different. I'm wondering if it might work to have a chat with them - it seems like you'll need to take the lead - and explain that you'd like to resolve this. Could you suggest a dedicated time that you spend with them (weekly / bi-weekly, whatever you think is good) so that you get a chance to spend time together and get to know each other better. Then maybe agree when they might like to be invited to things. There will of course be times when you just want to hang with your friends without your roommate and this is healthy but spending time with them regularly should diffuse this. What do you think?
  4. That sounds hugely positive (not that she's worried) but in that she's concerned and actively seeing what she can do and look at underlying causes. Do you have a sense of relief for having gone and spoken about it?
  5. Blondie


    That sounds positive. Do you mean that you don't want it to go wrong again?
  6. Yes, we're in the UK - usually most GP surgeries can refer you to a local service where you will get 6-12 weeks of in-person therapy for a donation. If they don't or there's a massive waiting list it's important to ensure you go to someone reputable. We would always recommend you go to a registered, practicing therapist that's registered with a credible body such as UKCP or BPS as they have a minimum training period of at least 450 - 600 hours. Most of the time you have an initial session so you can see how it feels and if you think the therapist would be a good fit for you. Also, check to see what areas they 'specialise' in as many will list things like 'trauma, gender identity, sexuality, anger management' etc. etc. Again, if in any doubt at any point, check back with you doctor. Let us know how you get on! We're always here.
  7. We're always here for you! Let us know how you get on.
  8. Completely agree that being able to talk about gender, periods and mental health is a good option. I'm not sure if your doctors does it but you can sometimes book a double appointment so that you're not trying to discuss everything in a fixed time slot. With identity, it is incredibly personal how each of us identify - of course, there are similarities in experiences and some of the terms we use but you can still be having a lived 'trans' experience but not identify with the label at all. I think as people, we just try and find names and labels in order to understand things but ultimately how you feel and your experience overrides all of that. If you had the opportunity to discuss both the periods and your identity (and how they intersect) it does feel like you'd make some progress in moving forwards. Most gender identity clinics will have a huge amount of experience in this. Hopefully once you have a doctors appointment in place it'll feel like you've made an important first step. Meanwhile, do you think it might be helpful to note on whatever type of calendar you use, when your period may be due in order to decrease the shock? That must feel awful every time it happens and I'm trying to think of ways to reduce that shock.
  9. Hey @Yur sloth Gurl I'm just checking in with you to see how you're getting on.
  10. Hey @Marv it's clear how much this is affecting you and the way you have described everything, you have given it a lot of thought and a lot of it entirely reasonable - after all anyone that has periods will (I think) to a degree relate to the feeling of "I'm just bleeding and carrying on with my life". It goes against our instinct which is to react to blood loss as an emergency. However, you're aware of the things you do in hopes of reducing flow and that wanting to remain underweight in the hope of periods stopping. I agree that advice along the lines "just put up with it" is supremely unhelpful so I wonder if you mum realises the actual impact this is having on you? I would definitely agree with a visit to your doctor as they may be able to support you through this and discuss potential ways to deal with this. At the very least it would give you a starting point to find out a little more and often, being proactive about our bodies is a huge deal. You deserve the space to discuss your concerns. What do you think?
  11. Blondie


    Let us know how you got on!
  12. I know that must feel like forever but at least it gives you a little time to work up to it. And hopefully the holiday will be fun - are you doing anything exciting?
  13. Okay - firstly I've looked up Camogie and it's all sorts of amazing! It feels like you've know her long enough to try just casually dropping in a "do ya fancy hanging out sometime" type thing to see how she reacts. It would be good to get to know her a little better anyway as you say. You'd have a better chance of finding out more about her rather than just at camogie. Have an idea or two ready of where you could go in case she says yes so it'll be a bit smoother. When are you next due to see her?
  14. Hey @Randomgirl. and welcome! No apologies needed Firstly, it's completely usual and healthy to question our sexuality - for some people they always know and it doesn't waver, but for so many others it can be a pretty fluid or evolving part of our lives. Don't rush it - and do exactly what you are already doing - allowing yourself to be open to who you might be attracted to. Crushes for everyone can be pretty overwhelming and consuming for all sorts of reasons, whether they end up being romantic, sexual or the feeling isn't returned. But even so we learn a lot about ourselves through them and will usually look back and see them as pretty pivotal parts of our lives. Sometimes it can turn out that the crush is more connected to finally understanding your sexuality rather than the actual person (although I'm sure she's awesome!) Take your time getting to know this other girl - you could potentially drop in the convo questions that might give you an indication. How did you meet her and how often do you get to hang out?
  15. I really like thrillers like Harlan Coben as you keep changing your mind over who has done what! Thankfully there is an almost never ending supply of similar writers - I get completely lost in the plots!
  16. That's so good to hear! Hope your weekend is amazing!
  17. @Harun We're here for you! Let us know how you get on Have a great day too!
  18. ooooh nice! You can really get lost in those books! Once I find an author or genre I really like I get almost on a mission of having to read ALL of their stuff and ALL of the books in a series. And then if you find someone who loves the same book or series ------ bliss!
  19. Hey @Pantha76 - I've sent you a message
  20. Blondie


    Hey @Abigail18 I'm one of the support mentors - hope you don't mind me jumping in while Monsoon is on leave. Gilmore Girls is a great choice! - It's the kind of programme that you can just comfortably sink into and watch again! I really like swimming but have to make myself actually swim as otherwise I tend to just float about aimlessly as it's sooo relaxing just chilling in the water. Did everything go okay with the friends you went with?
  21. Hey, I completely echo was monsoon says - your safety /security must be a priority. However, of course it's completely natural to want to share all parts of your life with your loved ones and be able to be completely authentic. And trying to stick to other people's expectations is hard. The hair cutting I completely relate to - I had super long and curly hair for years when I was younger and hated it! I was super sporty and it was a real nuisance and always sweaty and tangled! My dad completely forbid me to get it cut as "girls have long hair" When I was 14 I had some money from a part time job so I plucked up the courage to go and get it cut and I had inches of it cut off which was amazing! He was furious of course but did eventually come around to it even if he still would have preferred me to have long hair again.
  22. Do you feel able to have a chat with your friend about this? Sometimes we can so easily get caught up inside our own heads about what others think about us (and this will mostly be negative stuff) when actually, they don't feel that way at all. It could be reassuring to hear and be a good start to moving forwards feeling better about yourself. A good place to start can be thinking about things that you like about yourself as we're always quick to think about the negative stuff! What are 3 things you like about yourself and it can be absolutely ANYTHING - interests, skills, the colour of your eyes, how good you are at maths..... anything.
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