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Blondie

Digital Mentor
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Posts posted by Blondie

  1. 2 hours ago, Ellie-may said:

    I saw her today I was talking about getting a girlfriend telling her she was my first crush and just letting her know I’m interested however she kept talking to me about s*x with boys asking me stuff cause she’s a virgin and I have experience and I’m the only one that she thinks she can talk to about it which makes me feel special and sorry for the crude info but she said when I was talking to her about it I made her w*t which was exciting would I just ask her out right if she would ever get with a girl? Cx

    I would carefully ask her as it could be that she was mentioning boys to hint about her feelings and that she may not be ready for anything too heavy. It sounds like she trusts you so a careful conversation might clear things up for both of you so you know where you stand. 

  2. 2 hours ago, Ellie-may said:

    I want a girlfriend So badly and cause I don’t look gay it seems no one takes any notice of me xx

    Ah, okay I understand. Even so, I'm wondering whether changing yourself just to try and attract someone would be the best thing to do as ultimately you wouldn't be being yourself.

    It seems like a lot to give up and might be a lot of pressure to try and maintain. 

  3. 16 hours ago, Ellie-may said:

    So my friend is straight and I have a lot of feelings for her we secretly experimented about 3 years ago and I loved it I can’t get it out of my head she must of been a bit curious and saw something in me right? I’ve known her for 5 year and since the day I met her I’ve wanted to be her/ be with her she talks about this boy who she has a crush on but he’s using her I want her so badly she puts a smile on my face about a month ago I just stopped talking to her as it was starting to hurt me but now we’re talking again and I’m seeing her tomorrow first time in a month! And even when we weren’t talking she was always in my head everything reminded me of her I don’t know what to do help me sorry for long paragraph just needed to tell someone please help me?!!

    Hey @Ellie-may Feelings like these are incredibly powerful and exciting! So many people find that they are pivotal parts of our lives that they will always remember as quite defining, regardless if anything happens in the future or not with this friend.

    Even if nothing ever happens again between you outside of friendship, it doesn't in any way invalidate your experience or her's.

    What are your plans for seeing her? I would suggest trying to keep it light and casual (unless it's obvious that you both want more) - what do you think? 

     

  4. 16 hours ago, Ellie-may said:

    I’m gay but I look straight all the time I’m starting to cuff my jeans and everything but I still look straight and I hate it. Any advice? Xx

    Hey @Ellie-may I'm not sure there's a definitive way to not look straight as everyone is so very different. The LGBTQIA+ community is incredibly diverse in how people express their sexuality and/or gender. Can I ask if there a reason why this may be bothering you? 

  5. 1 hour ago, Laura2323 said:

    that is true i always try to plan my life and it is so frustrating .........i will take thing down a note:) an dgo at a pace that im comfortable with i feel like i always have to plan everything and then just see how things turn out sometimes without thinking to much and just going with the flow.........i will go at a pace with doesnt stress me too much since my life is mostly a rollercoaster and  no rest:)) 😕

    This sounds like a plan! I know it can be a bit cheesy but trying to enjoy the moment is a skill that takes practise!

    genius sounds good GIF by SoulPancake

  6. 15 hours ago, Laura2323 said:

    yes its because many new changes have happened in my life especially my sexuality change i dont yet want to admit that im Bi or gay but its 50% chance that I might be and the other  50% is just me in denial of what i really im, also trying to do things that make me happy and my parents want me to do what life asks of  you and my self discovery is always how to say blocked or not fulfilled 100%, i dont know how to deal yet  with my new sexuality and new  hobbies that ive started(movie editing and creating movies and dancing and learning japanese which is hard but i want to speak the language so:)) 🙂  and i like them since i denied my whole self as a person for a long time

    Oh, the movie and learning Japanese sound amazing! 

    I would suggest trying not to put pressure on yourself - allow your sexuality to develop in your on time and space, always thinking about who you are and not what other people may or may not want you to be. Maybe try and not look at the entire picture of your life and somehow try and 'solve' everything in one go, rather just work your way through at your own pace. This will give you the best chance of finding your true self. But always leave yourself space to change and grow and try to shift from thinking that you need to make a final decision.

    How does that sound?

  7. 11 hours ago, Abigail18 said:

    yeah i don’t watch it even tho i really want to but i just don’t get it that muxh

    What are you up to this week?

  8. 10 minutes ago, Abigail18 said:

    i don’t have any favorite subjects at school and i’m not really good at much basketball maybe but not that much 

    Oh basketball is cool! I really like watching that as it's so exciting and fast moving, especially when the games stops with just a few seconds running down on the clock. 

     

  9. 2 minutes ago, Abigail18 said:

    will two things i like about myself is my hair and eyes my hair bc it’s very pretty and it’s a big part in my personal and i can never die it bc it means a lot to me and i couldn’t hurt it and my eyes i like them bc of the coler they are blue and they stand out very well in good lighting. my hair is a dirty blonde kinda coler

    That's fantastic and sounds so lovely!

    What's your favourite subject at school and what are you best at, at school?

     

  10. 19 minutes ago, Abigail18 said:

    if i really could it would be to have real friends and not be so negative of myself 

    That's a really good start - I would think that not being negative about yourself would be first? Then you are more likely to make friends if you are feeling better about yourself.

    As a starting point - tell me one thing you really like about yourself. It can be anything at all. Eye colour, handwriting, sport skills, being a good listener...anything. And why do you like that thing about yourself?

    I know it can feel uncomfortable thinking about the positive stuff as we're usually brilliant with negative things but to challenge this way of thinking and feel better it's just the start.   

  11. 1 hour ago, Abigail18 said:

    idk i don’t really talk to a doctor about this stuff or anyone i feel like i bother people with my problems and most time they don’t even carw

    I can assure you that you are not a bother to anyone and we care very much about how you are doing.

    if you could make one immediate and positive change in your life - what would it be?

  12. 5 minutes ago, Random said:

    Hey thank you for replying. The numb feeling and me not being interested or not even thinking about it only affects the attraction part (not friendships or in general ). I didn’t have a traumatic experience. I’m sure that at least for the time being I don’t want to do anything with anyone and it doesn’t cross my mind anymore. Idk why. 

    I would then for sure, trust your instincts and try not to worry (I know that's easier said than done!) Even in relationships people go through periods of not feeling attraction and will ensure they remain close on other ways. It doesn't have to mean anything bad, it's just a part of their life at that time.

    For some people, if this continues for a long time they may identify as Asexual.  (A sexual orientation generally characterised by not feeling sexual attraction or desire for partnered sexuality. Although some people who are asexual do have sex).

    How does this sound?


     

  13. 32 minutes ago, Ezra- said:

    HI. Im safe, trying to look for help, just worried i wont be myself anymore. The friends that i had feelings for dont talk to me anymore and avoid contact, so i think thats an affect.

    Thanks so much for letting me know - I'm very glad you're safe.

    When you reach out to these friends now are you being ignored? Do you think there's a chance that you could speak to any of them and have an honest conversation so you can move forward.

    Equally, friendship goes both ways and should ideally be balanced and/or complimentary - you deserve respect and communication within a friendship so I wouldn't want you to think that you should take the blame for everything that potentially didn't work out. 

  14. 34 minutes ago, Abigail18 said:

    not really it’s very very slim we see each other bc there always busy and they have school and stuff so they only come where i live if there is a party or something that there parents are invite to so not much to look forward to 

    This is tough to navigate and can really affect how we feel. Sometimes when people are feeling really low it can be situational and other times they can be depressed.

    Would you be able to have a chat with your doctor about how you are feeling so they could rule this out?

  15. 14 hours ago, Ezra- said:

    Ive lived in the same city for about 9 years and now im moving 2-3 h away. I was sure i had a good amount of friends, but now, this summer, almost noone has talked to me. I have 2 friends who have wanted to hang out. A few girls from my class said they would host a sending away party for me, but now they dont talk to me. Ive felt so alone for months now. Because of my moms job, i havent seen her a lot either. Everything i do feels wrong. Im scared of going to a new school with new people, cuz i dont exactly fit in. Talking about my problems and feelings feels like im doing it for attention. Im always confused and angry with myself. Ive ruined 3 friend/relationships this year by having feelings. Im scared i wont make it through this year.

    Hey @Ezra- thanks so much for sharing and I hear how bad you are feeling.

    Can I firstly clarify what you mean by not making it through the year? Your safety and wellbeing is a priority to us so please let me know.

    Moving like this and starting again is of course daunting but it can also be a positive; a chance for a 'fresh start'. Did your friends say that your feelings have affected the friendships?

  16. 4 hours ago, Laura2323 said:

    I use twitter for looking for posts regarding my favorite show called Lucifer .... but other than that i feel like twitter is very trolling and aggressive to other type of comments for certain type of people

    It really can be which is a shame as a lot of it is fun. if you ever need support in reporting abusive posts we have a service here that helps: 

    https://www.ditchthelabel.org/report/ 

  17. 4 hours ago, Lesbian_Kila said:

    I’m lesbian but I have homophobic parents and idk how to tell them I like girls. 

    Hey @Lesbian_Kila and we're glad you found us! Welcome!

    Our advice would always be to prioritise your safety at all times, so if for example, you think that you might at risk of being thrown out, then we would certainly advise waiting to tell them until you are out of home and living independently.

    I completely understand why you would want to share this part of yourself and we should all have the freedom to do that but your safety and security is key.

    How do you think they will react if you tell them?

  18. 3 hours ago, Random said:

    Hey there, I’m a bit confused here and would appreciate some help. I’m not so sure about my attraction to people. I used to be sexually attracted to people and all was normal. Till a girl asked me to kiss her and I did ,but I didn’t enjoy it at all. Now I’m reconsidering everything. All those thoughts I had were before I knew what it was  like  (btw all those thoughts I had,were always in the third person)but  now that I do, the thought of it  doesn’t interest me(sometimes it repels me).I do not feel the need to do anything with anyone. Whenever I try to think about it I’m numb and it doesn’t interest me. What the hell is wrong with me ?

    Hey @Random I think the overarching thing here is there really is no 'normal'. Our feelings an attractions for some never waver but for many they can change and be pretty fluid.

    Unless you have experienced a trauma which you feel could have had an impact on this I would trust your instincts and don't feel pressured to do anything with anyone unless it feels right and comfortable to you. Can I ask, does it only affect the 'attraction' type feelings or does the numb feeling also affect general relationships / friendships? 

  19. 5 hours ago, Laura2323 said:

    I've been questioning my sexuality for quite some time now....... i don't know if I'm straight anymore and I don't think I ever was..... but how do you realize that your Bi or Gay

    Hey @Laura2323 it tends to be something that gradually makes sense. It's really positive that you're open to different attractions and to question how you feel so you will probably find that as you experience relationships and/or attractions, it will become clearer to you. 

    For some people these attractions will often be fluid and can change through your life so I wouldn't be in a hurry to try and make any sort of decision now. 

    Does that make sense? 

  20. 3 hours ago, Laura2323 said:

    i am wondering if its normal to not know who you completely are as a person I feel like I am continuously trying to discover who I am as a person....... im always having a hard time trying to find things that i like or even do things that i dont like to make others happy... i always think about others happiness and never about my happiness and what i want to do....

    what should i do to figure out what type of person i am i mean discover myself as a whole

    Hey @Laura2323 In one word - yes! It's completely normal and healthy and for many people this goes on throughout our lives. The obvious times could be in relationships, careers, potential parenting etc but so many people change and shift through their life. 

    People shift career direction, political views and far more and if you think about it, it kinda makes life exciting rather than just reaching say, age 18 and knowing that you will always stay like this (even if you feel great then!) It's good to know we have room and space to change and develop as a person. 

    Can I ask, is there a a reason you'd like to know now?

    • Like 1
  21. 17 hours ago, Secondchance said:

    Is it normal for a man above 40 years to all of a sudden start disliking women and start liking men?

    Hey there! yes, it is completely normal for our sexuality and attractions to be changeable and fluid. There is no fixed way to be. 

    • Like 1
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