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Blondie

Digital Mentor
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Posts posted by Blondie

  1. 2 hours ago, Lillyrose4 said:

    here's who's playing -

    watford v Liverpool

    Southampton v Leeds United

    Norwhich city v Brighton 

    Aston Villa v Wolves 

    Lecister City v Man United

    Man City v Burnley

    Brentford v Chelsea 

    GO SPORT! (Totally got away with people thinking I know all about football) 🤣

    Us Soccer Celebration GIF by U.S. Soccer Federation

  2. 8 hours ago, Firefly 23 said:

    About a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me because she apparently couldn't handle my mental illness anymore...I trusted her with so much and it just hurts to not have her in my life anymore...I feel like I am being overdramatic because it was just a breakup (That was 1 month ago) but it still hurts being apart...She just decided what would be best for me and left! She broke up with me over text too (She couldn't come over but a phone call would have been nice...and now she is just perfectly fine without me! I always see her happily hanging out with her friends and that hurts me deeply! I just feel like I didn't mean ANYTHING to her and that she is so glad that my toxic self isn't by her side anymore...I should get a grip and move the fuck on but I just can't...Why does it still hurt? Why did she abandon me? Why? Was I not good enough? Am I a such a bad person that nobody would ever care about me again? 

    (I am also TERRIFIED of being abandoned and having it happen to me makes me even scared..) 

    Hey @Firefly 23 a break up is often a really difficult and sometimes traumatic ting to go through. No matter how long you were with someone a month isn't a very long time and we all need and deserve, time to process our heartbreak and upset. It's completely normal to feel upset, especially when it was unexpected and a shock. Your GF had already thought about it / potentially processed it all but you hadn't. 

    Your feelings are real and valid so allow yourself some time. Very few people simply bounce back from heartbreak, it's a journey and part of that is respecting other people's choices to no longer be with us - and that is hard, especially when some or all of their reasoning (your MH) was something you cannot just magically change. Of course, that hurts so this isn't a case of you being overdramatic. The reasoning of 'what's best for you' - I'm guessing this leaves confusing or angry/sad feelings as no one else can decide what is best for us. I wonder if she wasn't able to verbalise her feelings properly so said that (and via text) to make it a little easier on herself.

    When we break up with people, it doesn't invalidate any of the relationship or experiences with them - so any happy / loving times you had were real.  Even if we are hurt by relationships breaking down, we do learn such a lot from them and although it isn't clear now, it will be. 

    You deserve a great relationship where you feel loved, safe and respected so take some time to process before in thinking of getting involved with someone else. Let me be a voice that reminds you that you are enough and that you are not a bad person.

    Sending so many good thoughts your way.

  3. 17 hours ago, XX2 said:

    One year ago after a bad sexual experience 

    One year ago after a bad sexual experience 

    I'm so sorry to hear that happened but it's so positive that you recognise that you want to change how you feel.

    Initially it would be a good start to check out these 2 articles - have you already tried any of these things? Remember, we're here for you and we can work through it together.

    https://www.ditchthelabel.org/overcoming-low-self-esteem/

    https://www.ditchthelabel.org/5-ways-boost-self-esteem/

  4. 5 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

    So, my dysphoria has been bad lately to the point where i cant bring myself to look in a mirror. Any advice??

    Hey, when this happens I would allow yourself to acknowledge that and to not try and force it. Many people who experience this say they cover/avoid mirrors as much as they can while they're feeling this way but at the same time, they try and remind themselves of all the things they do like/love about their body until the intensity of it fades or passes. As much as you are able to, practice self-care so do all the things that make you feel good. Does that make sense? 

  5. 18 minutes ago, XX2 said:

    How to overcome low self esteem 

    Hi @XX2 and welcome to community!

    Self-esteem can be built up with time and working on it. Can I ask how long you've been feeling this way? And if you are comfortable to share, did anything in particular start the feeling off? 

  6. On 10/14/2021 at 4:09 PM, JessFlower33 said:

    Hello, Uh okay?! It's challenging trying to find out which gender I want to be so it's 😩 confusing 😕

    Try not to rush it and put yourself under any pressure. Just take your time and explore how things feel and what felt right at that time. 

    • Like 1
  7. 15 hours ago, Kaitlyn said:

    If it made you uncomfortable then you should let her know, don’t keep quiet about something that brothers you just for the sake of not wanting to stir up any trouble. If I was dating someone and they told me something brothered them, I would be glad they told me because I want the person I’m dating to be comfortable enough with me they can talk about such things with me. Did it seem too fast to you to be kissing yet? If so tell her you like her but want to take things slow, and that this being your first you may want to take things easy because it might seem like a lot at once. Let her know what you’re comfortable with and not, it mostly seems like you’re excited and that’s a great thing. Make sure to do lots of fun stuff like watching your favorite movies together or go to a theme park or even reading books together if you’re into that. You having not been with a lot of people before her doesn’t matter, just be yourself with her and that’s all that will matter. Remember to have fun and I hope this helped.🎶

    This is great advice!

  8. 15 hours ago, Tater tots said:

    Everything has been fine it's just the advanced work I do in class is a big load but I love the program and all the cool engineering work we do.

    That sounds great! I personally find that when things are going well and I'm feeling okay I like to take note of what I'm doing so I can remember this when I'm not feeling so great. So, if for example when I'm feeling good I've been seeing friends or going swimming I try to put those in place when things aren't feeling good.  

  9. 19 hours ago, Firefly 23 said:

    It is just someone at school and it upsets me very much when I hear this...It affects my mental issues like anxiety or depression..I also deal with gender dy@sp*ria sometimes and that is tough to deal with.. 

    Let us be one of the voices reassuring you that you and your identity are completely valid. Although sometimes logic will tell us we shouldn't let this affect us but of course, we're human and these things really can be upsetting.

    Sometimes it's goo to remind ourselves how great we actually are - what sort of things do you like about yourself? It could be anything at all like the colour of your eyes, how funny you are to how good you are at something!  

  10. 1 hour ago, JessFlower33 said:

    I have strong and odd feelings this morning,  I'm getting ready to go to school but I feel like a different person.  

    I have been sleeping 😴okay but woke up feeling rough and really confused 😕.  Is that normal? My mentL health is okay but having problems with my boyfriend we keep arguing and it's making my mental health problems be more sufficient then before. 

    I look at others and they seem happy bubbly and altogether okay, they talk about their feelings but I can't I find it hard and it makes me.feel like that I'm different then them when I don't want to be  😞😓😩

    Is their any way I can show and say how I'm feeling without getting sereve anxiety inside when I want to tell someone I'm not doing too good and I would like some help 😅

    Thanks for your help, Jess 😀

    Hi Jess, I know it's horrible but yes, it can be normal for our wellbeing / mental health to go through periods of being better and worse. We react to all sorts of things in our lives (like you mentioned about the arguments) and these can impact how we feel. Sometimes it can happen even if we can't connect it to anything in particular.

    It can seem, like you say, that everyone else is happy and bubbly but honestly, so many people feel the same but it isn't always possible to see it and/or that may not show this to others. It can also take practice to open up and talk about your feelings and no 2 people are the same in how they react to feeling low - what I mean is, there is no one way that we 'should' feel or get through it. However you are feeling is completely valid.

    With opening up, I would make it a simple as you can and say something like "I'm not feeling great right now - I find it hard to talk about but I need some help." 

    How does that sound?

  11. On 10/11/2021 at 2:55 PM, Lillyrose4 said:

    I am sick of being tired of life. I am sick and tired of getting judged because i am a teen mum due to abuse. I am scared I might do something and i am terrified due to i want to go but dont want to loose close friends and family. Need some 😞

    I pretend i am okay and happy but inside i am crying of pain because i take it for other people and myself which hurts more. I dont want to come across as selfish but i am really letting myself down because nobody is supporting me and i am tired to hold on anymore nothing to be happy for or yeah 😞 

    I get judged and it hurts me because I know that my place in this world isnt loved. No one has ever said anything nice about me or to me and all i get is hate, body shaming and words that make me feel really bad about myself, i am tired of supporting others then not getting anything back like i need support but you take me for granted and abuse me which hurts and is still hurting my soul now that you've gone far away from me.

    I gave you love and time and you go and throw it away and hurt me when all i did was care for you in your darkest times and i sat and stayed by you until you felt better. i cared and loved for you to go and abuse and hurt me? why am i not good enough and all you did ws body shame me. i am not writing this to punish you im writing this to show that maybe somebody out there might actually care and want to hear  my story.   I am not strong  but I am powerful to carry on through shitty times.😪

    You gave me a little girl when I was going through abuse from you and i didnt hate you for it but you still treated me like a toy which no-one shou;ld have to go through and you enjoyed it. I am writing this to ensure girls know they can rise and talk about it as it wasnt your fault. I am strong years later and getting justice for myself as i cant deal with the heart ache of feeling unwanted and unsafe and doing things to myself i didnt want to do but had no other way to let my pain go away. 

    this might show that im weak and not strong but ive done campaigns about this and help and supported young girls with this as they deserve help because no way should any male take advantage and abuse their dignity and ruin their lives and it's not how life and justice systems work nowadays and we all MATTER whatever the situation. I am trying to be strong but it's hard and i hope i can feel less built up in my heart and chest that i am talking about this and taking it on the chin that i am not at fault for such brutal crimes that were put and made against me as they took my dignity away from by using me and other things. I am stronger and braver so keep calm reach out and get supported you MATTER 💗

    If you need someone to talk to about any crime that has been putting yourself as risk of harm call these numbers to ensure your safe and get justice - Rape crisis - Samaritans, Shout and 999 in a emergency - here's their info - shout - 85258 rape crisis https://rapecrisis.org.uk/  Samaritans 116123

    I cry out for support because of the body shaming i'm getting it's hard but i dislike how people treat me, I treat them with respect but all i get is hate comments negative comments about my weight and how thin i apparently am which is none of their buissness if i am honest as that's for me to know why i am 'thin' and they have no reason to ask so i find it unfair as i fight back by telling them its none of their buissness and to keep their mouth shut to stop asking me am i being a spiteful bitch? i seem really horrible but im not i am nice and caring but seem a bitch @Harper is this okay to post?

    Hey @Lillyrose4 Just to let you know I've messaged you directly.

  12. 18 hours ago, Firefly 23 said:

    I can't focus and I feel sick...This tends to happen when I forget about my medication and I took my morning meds very late this morning..I am thinking about going home due to not feeling well..

    Hey there, you're right - this can really throw out how you're feeling. You may have already done this but have you tried setting alarms on your phone? 

  13. 18 hours ago, JessFlower33 said:

    Back now! We went along the river 😎 then, to the London Eye! Super fun 😄.  Hope you're having a good day? 👍

    That sounds great! Was it part of a lesson or studies?

  14. 11 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

    I think that what happened last time is that school finished and i wasn't stressed, and yes, i would like some tips for my mental health

    Hi there,

    Just jumping in to share these tips with you: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/how-to-look-after-mental-health/ 

    Plus we have an entire hub full of useful mental health resources here: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/mental-health-support-hub/ 

    Let us know what you think.

  15. Hi @Oizys Thank you so much for sharing with us - I know this isn't always easy to do so I know it can be a huge step. As you mentioned feeling suicidal in your life, can I just check in with you to ensure you are safe right now or do you have any plans?

    Once we know you are safe, we can then give you more support. I really do hope to hear back from you soon. We are here to help you through.


     

     

  16. 2 hours ago, Ellie-may said:

    I saw her today I was talking about getting a girlfriend telling her she was my first crush and just letting her know I’m interested however she kept talking to me about s*x with boys asking me stuff cause she’s a virgin and I have experience and I’m the only one that she thinks she can talk to about it which makes me feel special and sorry for the crude info but she said when I was talking to her about it I made her w*t which was exciting would I just ask her out right if she would ever get with a girl? Cx

    I would carefully ask her as it could be that she was mentioning boys to hint about her feelings and that she may not be ready for anything too heavy. It sounds like she trusts you so a careful conversation might clear things up for both of you so you know where you stand. 

  17. 2 hours ago, Ellie-may said:

    I want a girlfriend So badly and cause I don’t look gay it seems no one takes any notice of me xx

    Ah, okay I understand. Even so, I'm wondering whether changing yourself just to try and attract someone would be the best thing to do as ultimately you wouldn't be being yourself.

    It seems like a lot to give up and might be a lot of pressure to try and maintain. 

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