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anonymous101

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Everything posted by anonymous101

  1. Hi! I know it's been a couple of years but I just wanted to let you know how much that helped and that I did get out of that toxic friendship! I'm doing a lot better now and have made friends who want to see me succeed and push me to do well rather than fail. They're lovely people and I feel like I can be myself around them because I trust them. There is one friend in the wider group who behaves very similarly to my ex-best friend but as soon as I noticed it I distanced myself from them and focused my energy on the friends who are kind and honest. I also confronted them and explained how their actions were making me feel first but they made excuses and blamed me for some of it so I decided it would be better to let it go... your advice really helped me develop the confidence to do this and I am in a much better place. Thank you so much.
  2. I think that I have ADHD as I have almost all of the symptoms and have done for my whole life. The first time I actually learnt about it instead of just the misconceptions of it I felt like it was describing me completely and I felt reassured as I always thought it was just me that struggled with my symptoms. I have spoken to my GP and they were very helpful and got me to fill out a self-referral which I scored highly on so they then recommended me to the mental health services on the NHS as the GP is not qualified to diagnose me. The only problem is that I've read it's quite difficult to be diagnosed as an adult (I am 18) but also as a woman. I also read that the waiting list is really long in the first place so I am worried that I won't get to talk to anyone about it for a while. I also don't really have the support of my parents either which makes it harder especially as we are so close and I am lucky that I have always had their support before now. But for lot of my symptoms they just tell me that I need to learn to concentrate better and to organise myself, which I do really try to do but I forget things constantly and I'm often late even when I have alarms and reminders and try my best to fit what is expected of me. We often also argue because of my lateness, lack of concentration/ daydreaming and a few other symptoms, it is the only thing we really argue about and is making things really tense at home which in turn impacts previous mental health issues I've struggled with. I have struggled with anxiety and low mood before and they were incredibly supportive with that so I am confused why it's so different with this and I don't know how to talk to them about it especially if I have to wait a long time to even get a diagnosis as I think this is the only thing they would take seriously.
  3. Hi, I was just wondering if I could get some advice on a few worries that have been gnawing at the back of my mind. I'm really happy with my boyfriend (we've only been dating a month but before that, we were friends with benefits and before that, we were just really good friends). I know I never have anything to worry about but he goes out drinking almost every weekend and sometimes he goes out multiple nights, I'm not a huge fan of drinking - I still do it but less frequently because I like feeling in control of my body and it sometimes makes my anxiety worse. I respect that it's entirely his choice what he does with his life but I need help/ advice on how to manage it, I really struggle when someone I care about goes out drinking or taking drugs due to past relationships where this has occurred and in one relationship where I was cheated on. I know full well that my boyfriend would never cheat but that's not all I get anxious about - it's also health and friendship related as well. I don't know where my health-related anxiety started but it began as just me and it's now worrying about other people's health too. The friendship-related anxiety is that I'm scared that I'll be left out or abandoned as we're in the same friendship group - this time last year I was struggling with being bullied by one of my closest friends and none of my other friends did anything, most of them just went along with it (these guys were my best friends for 5+ years) and then my boyfriend, who was kind of in the same group, also left me so it really negatively affected me. I got therapy and I'm working on getting over it but it's still there hidden below layers of pretending I'm fine and I've moved on. I usually get really anxious and overwhelmed when people I care about go out (friends, partners and my parents), I often find it hard to focus on tasks or do anything other than stare at my phone waiting for either bad news or an update making sure they're okay. I know I don't need to and my boyfriend is incredibly supportive of my anxiety and he always tries to make me feel better but I'm scared to tell him about this part of my anxiety because I don't want to be controlling of him - he's his own person and should be able to act as such. I really don't know how to manage my anxiety - I've had CBT before which helped but that was mainly focused on my eating and more generalised anxiety. Another thing that I'm currently stressing about - which is less related to my anxiety because I know I would worry about this anyway - is that we're part of the same friendship group and we were all talking and him and some of our other friends said they were planning on taking acid in the half term. Obviously I was worried but I haven't said much about it, just that he should be careful if he does end up doing it. Do you have any advice on how to manage my anxiety especially the anxiety that surrounds my relationship? The majority of the time I'm happy but whenever anyone so much as mentions drinking or drugs I begin to worry. Thanks
  4. About 8 months ago my friendship group began to fall apart, there were three of us which people always told us was a precarious friendship dynamic but until then it had worked really well for us (for 3 years). The friend who began bullying me has bullied other people but everyone usually turns a blind eye to it because they're afraid of her and that she'll do the same to them. We used to be a friendship group of 4 but I didn't stand up to her when she bullied and isolated our other close friend, I did try to stay close to her however we eventually drifted away and she isn't part of our group anymore - she seems really happy now and I want to be like that but don't know how to get to that position as she did it a few years ago when life wasn't so hectic and friendship groups were still changing a lot. My toxic friend tells everyone everything I tell her and exaggerates it or manipulates it to make me seem like an awful person and she tells everyone terrible things about me which aren't at all true - she also talks to my newly ex-boyfriend about me saying all of her unkind opinions and things that I've done (which I haven't actually done) - I'm trying to stay friends with him and it was going fairly well until she intervened - she knows I'm not over him and is just making it so much harder (which I'm almost 100% sure she knows she's doing). I tried to confront her about it but she wouldn't talk to me and instead came to talk to me on her own terms which I'm okay with because it meant I could ask her about it all in a way she was more comfortable with as she likes to be in control however she denied everything. She made me feel really guilty saying that I shouldn't believe other friends over her because she's one of my closest friends except I know her history of bullying and I know she isn't the most trustworthy at the best of times and it isn't just one person that's told me she's doing it - I've had 4 different people tell me and another 2 say she has when I asked them about it. I've been struggling with depression again and my anxiety is worse than it usually is because of exams and she knows this and says she's supportive of me and that how can I accuse her of all of this when she is so supportive but in reality I don't think someone can be supportive and be horrible about you behind your back because the stuff she says behind my back just makes everything so much worse and makes the supportive times effectively mean nothing at all. How do I get out of this friendship without also losing everyone else I care about? (My other close friend, other friends and my ex). I'd appreciate any advice, no matter how small, thank you
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