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scout63

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  1. Wow. What I think is that I wish we'd known about Ditch the Label three years ago when this whole thing started. I'll go through everything you've sent when I can give it my full attention. At first glance it looks like it may be very useful. I will also encourage my daughter to look at if for herself and perhaps be in touch with you with her own issues on her own terms. It's been a pretty stressful time for us - obviously for her in particular - and I'm aware that we haven't always known what to do for the best. It's also been clear that although her school has been concerned for her mental health, they haven't understood the part that bullying has played in it because they haven't sufficiently understood (my view at any rate) that relational aggression is every bit as toxic as direct bullying and a hell of a lot harder to see. At the worst of it my daughter was out of school for six months with a stress breakdown. When she went back she - and we, at home and at school - thought it would have stopped. But it hadn't. The practical problem she is grappling with now is how to connect with the people she knows could be friends if they could see past her reputation, and your suggestions on how to cope with social anxiety might be really helpful there. The trick is persuading her that if she wants to stay at that school - and I do understand why she does - she will somehow have to figure out how to reach out to a potential new circle of friends and wriggle out from the reach of a circle who have made her life hell. Scout
  2. Hi Harper Yes, you've summarised the issues pretty well. The context for this is that she's had a lot of bullying to deal with at school between Year 8 and Year 11. It started when she fell out with some friends in Year 8; they got their own back by starting and spreading really nasty rumours about her which spread through the school until either people were actively gossiping about her, or - much more common but no easier to deal with - simply keeping their distance because she was caught up in something that they didn't want to get involved with. She's courageous and determined and hasn't wanted to switch schools, but she finds it very hard to get past the social aggression that's been directed at her to make new friends. Scout
  3. My daughter, 16, is being harassed by someone who keeps creating new profiles on FB and Instagram for the purpose. The messages are sexually explicit and she finds it quite threatening to think that someone she probably knows from school is stalking her anonymously online. She's been bullied persistently at school over a period of time and has recently felt quite isolated there. We have reported the most recent episode to school and to the police and both say there is nothing they can do to uncover the identity of the person doing this. She can come off all social media completely but it doesn't help the anxiety caused by knowing that someone she probably sees every day is behaving in this way towards her. Thoughts on how to deal with this situation?
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