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  1. i cant bring myself to look at the mirror . most my life ive been made fun of looking a certain way. it started when i was 12. honestly no kid that young should even be worrying about their appearance like that. recently ive started to like my appearance but when i feel this way for a few days it all comes crashing down and i end up feeling like shit for however long after. im a harmless person and ive never bullied anyone for looking a certain way, but people are dickheads and dont care and dont know how harmful their words can be. if anything its taught me to be wary of my words to others because i wouldnt wish this upon anyone. i just wish people wouldnt focus on appearance as much and to go as far as bully the person. its a shitty feeling when even people you dont know make comments about your face or body. even as many times as people say im pretty i just cant accept it. i end up covering all my insecurities with makeup but even then, its never enough. feeling this way makes me feel like like im useless and so much less when everyone around me is so pretty. i feel like im the "ugly" friend in my friend group. all of my friends get attention from both guys and girls while i get none. it makes me question whether im really that bad looking. when i look back at photos of myself i just cant bear to keep it on my screen when i look so bad in all of them while all my friends look so good in every photo they've been in. ive been trying so hard to love myself but its never enough. i dont know if ill ever get there. im sorry i just had to get it all out, i dont think i could keep it all bottled up.
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