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chuu last won the day on September 15

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    i’m just using this as a place to be myself :)
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  1. hey @Monsoon i’m okay thank you for asking. i have had these feelings before but they come and go as they please. i’m not sure what they mean, everyday for me feels like a dream almost and some days i can’t tell if i’m dreaming or i’m actually conscious because if i can get through a day without feeling bad or upset it feels so unnatural because that’s what i’ve gotten used to, feeling sad all the time. (i really hope this doesn’t sound like a cry for attention because that isn’t what this is.)
  2. recently i’ve been unsure whether i’m actually alive or not and that sounds kinda weird. i refuse to look at myself in the mirror and that’s not because i’m unhappy with the way i look, it’s because mirrors prove i’m alive, they’re a proof of existence, another pair of eyes almost. when i do look at myself in the mirror i see a stranger that looks and act exactly like me but they aren’t me. i know i’m only a kid and all of this is way beyond my years but i’m really frightened of myself and i never used to be. it feels like im rotting from the inside out and all i want to do is make it stop. nothing feels real anymore.
  3. hi @Monsoon i think that’s all for now thank you though
  4. hey @Monsoon im really sorry but i’m just not ready to open up about losing her yet. thank you for all of the support i really appreciate it.
  5. hi, thank you for the reply @Monsoon! the thing is i haven’t really been coping at all and my feelings are pushing me into this state of mind that’s so isolated and cold. i still can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that she’s gone yet but just knowing that she’s never going to come back crushes my spirit entirely.
  6. hi, no problem! how are you feeling otherwise?
  7. hi! bully really sucks and i can relate to that. have you told anyone? i think telling people can really help because someone can intervene and stop it as soon as possible. try not to let it get on top of you because that’s not fair on you, i really hope things get better for you soon.
  8. hi @Monsoon i was just wondering if you were still interested in having this conversation?
  9. hi again @Monsoon ive been feeling this way for about two years but recently it’s been getting out of hand. I lost my best friend about 6 months ago and without her, my life just feels so meaningless. i love her with my entire heart and the fact i’ll never be able to tell her that again makes me feel sick. i almost don’t want to feel better because if i feel better i’ll lose her completely, if that makes sense. i just don’t know what i’m gonna do without out her because i don’t think i’ll ever love anyone the way i loved her.
  10. hi, thank you for caring! i’m just feeling really hopeless and nothing i seem to do can make this feeling pass. i don’t really understand how i feel. i just want to be valid however that may be.
  11. hi again, don’t worry about it i just hate to see or hear about other people feeling rubbish! thank you for such kind compliments! i’m glad you got this off your chest, i hope you feel better soon
  12. hi! i know i’ve never met you and i don’t know what you look like but i just wanted to say that it really hurts me that you feel this way about yourself. from my perspective you sound like a really beautiful person and you aren’t a ugly duckling you just haven’t found yourself yet, but i promise when you find yourself you’ll realise how beautiful you are, inside and out
  13. i’m not enough, and i don’t know how to be okay. i want to be okay but right now that’s just so difficult. everything is just so messed up in my head and i just don’t know how to cope anymore. i want to be free from this feeling whatever “this feeling” is. - just wanted to vent
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