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Someone has to...




❗This blog contains open and frank conversations about sex and personal opinions. Reader discretion is advised.

If you have a question about sex, dating, relationships or sexuality, you can post it for our mentors here.

Someone has to talk about sex. Whatever kind it is, it has to be taught. But people don't teach us the important stuff.  In fact most people don't know enough in their 30s. And people are always mortified when their bodies do something normal. 

At school I was the girl in the playground that people would ask about sex. I would answer best I could, because I knew most of them couldn't ask parents, and some had regular checks on Internet searches. So I did for them what teachers told me off for. I mean I had isolation for a month for promoting secure discussions.  WTF?!

Here are some questions I was asked by people, hope they can help someone who has either no clue or is just curious.

does sex that isn't penetrative count?

yes. Yes it does. It counts because it is still sex. Women don't always get that virginity is something that when we lose it we dont get another chance. You can't say you haven't lost your virginity, because we also say we've lost our innocence. If you have lost ot one way, you have lost it all together. 

how do you lose a gag reflex?

Answer, I have no clue. But there is a gag suppression trick I learnt, makes fist with one hand and press down on your thumb as you do whatever is making you  gag. It works  89% of the time. Seriously try it.

can you get pregnant if you swallow?

no. I know it sounds stupid but I get asked this a lot. NO, no you can't.

why do I feel like I am throw up during a blowjob? 

answer, it could be because the dick is too deep down your throat. Or because your nervous. Either way water will calm you. And if you swallow, be wary the next morning, I've seen and heard some horror stories about the morning after.

where is the clitoris? 

I know, not applicable to all, but I've had to explain this may a time. The clitoris is not in the vagina. it is above the urethra.  

why do I need to pee?

I don't know. But its normal. And please do pee afterwards because I know several people who got UTIs after because they didn't listen to their bodies. Please do, pee after.

whats a strap on?

its basically a dick on a thong. Its very useful, and fun. Its a sex toy/ assistant. Clean after use please. 

Other things my friend have made me add:

  •  To be taught that sexual pleasure is okay and that safe and consensual sex is a good thing. we were taught about STDs/STIs and pregnancy. It was presented as if only bad things can happen, but  it was not told how to prevent some of those things, and that your partner's and your pleasure isn't a bad thing. It’s human.
  • Genitalia doesn’t always look like the diagrams. We are all different and beautiful.
  • that female masturbation was a good thing. 
  • sex can happen outside of marriage. 

I know it seems random but it needs to be said. And yes some seem obvious but I have had to answer some weird questions and still do for people.  





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