Running

Hey there,

I've just had a read of this and wanted to check in to see how you are doing? I might be reading too much into it, but I'm wondering, are you safe at the moment? I noticed what you were saying about the 'end' and I just wanted to check. I hope to hear from you soon. Take care.

On 11/3/2022 at 2:49 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I've just had a read of this and wanted to check in to see how you are doing? I might be reading too much into it, but I'm wondering, are you safe at the moment? I noticed what you were saying about the 'end' and I just wanted to check. I hope to hear from you soon. Take care.

For now, I'm not sure if I am safe. If I continue to hide I should be fine. Having problems deciding what to do though.

Hey there, thank you for replying. 

You said that you're not sure you're safe - do you have people around you that you can share this with? And do you have a plan to end things?

I really want you to know that you are important in the world and even though things may be really tough now, we can help guide you through. We're here for you. 

Meanwhile, I'm going to put some crisis numbers below, should you need them.

 

1-(UK) The Samaritans - 116 123 (This is a free service that operates 24/7)

2-(USA) Suicide and Crisis Lifeline - 988  (This is a free service that operates 24/7. You can call or text) 

3-A list of worldwide crisis lines can be found here: https://www.befrienders.org 

4-There's an app I can recommend called Stay Alive - it has safety plans to make sure you don’t harm yourself and you might find it helpful.

5-You can also call the police if you feel at risk.

 

4 minutes ago, Blondie said:

Hey there, thank you for replying. 

You said that you're not sure you're safe - do you have people around you that you can share this with? And do you have a plan to end things?

I really want you to know that you are important in the world and even though things may be really tough now, we can help guide you through. We're here for you. 

Meanwhile, I'm going to put some crisis numbers below, should you need them.

1-(UK) The Samaritans - 116 123 (This is a free service that operates 24/7)

2-(USA) Suicide and Crisis Lifeline - 988  (This is a free service that operates 24/7. You can call or text) 

3-A list of worldwide crisis lines can be found here: https://www.befrienders.org 

4-There's an app I can recommend called Stay Alive - it has safety plans to make sure you don’t harm yourself and you might find it helpful.

5-You can also call the police if you feel at risk.

Thank you, I have recently started talking to my girlfriend about it, and she is very supportive. It is mostly my parents I worry about. I have committed self harm in the past (knife- cutting wrists and arms) but I got through that. As for having a plan to end things, I used to think about how I would do it but, why would I? I have many things to live for.

Hey there,

It sounds like you're managing to talk yourself out of fulfilling your plan and I can imagine that your supportive girlfriend is helping you a lot right now, so that's really good. I'm wondering, would you like to share what is helping you to stay? What are those things you have to live for?

40 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It sounds like you're managing to talk yourself out of fulfilling your plan and I can imagine that your supportive girlfriend is helping you a lot right now, so that's really good. I'm wondering, would you like to share what is helping you to stay? What are those things you have to live for?

I have my girlfriend to live for, we want to get married someday. I want to be a professional photographer when I get older. There are places I want to travel. I want to live for my niece, I want to watch her graduate college, I want to be there when she marries the man (or woman) that she loves. My niece loves me, she's only 6 and I don't want my brother to have to explain to her that I can't be there anymore. She gets so upset when I can't make it to our "tea parties", I don't want to leave her. Being her uncle/aunt is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I'm not ready to give that up. Granted there are some days when I forget why I live, and my girlfriend has to remind me and help me but living is worth it.

18 hours ago, Julian Ali said:

I have my girlfriend to live for, we want to get married someday. I want to be a professional photographer when I get older. There are places I want to travel. I want to live for my niece, I want to watch her graduate college, I want to be there when she marries the man (or woman) that she loves. My niece loves me, she's only 6 and I don't want my brother to have to explain to her that I can't be there anymore. She gets so upset when I can't make it to our "tea parties", I don't want to leave her. Being her uncle/aunt is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I'm not ready to give that up. Granted there are some days when I forget why I live, and my girlfriend has to remind me and help me but living is worth it.

Hey there,

It sounds like you have a lot to keep you going which is lovely to hear. I'm wondering, have you ever thought of maybe speaking to a professional about how you've been feeling? Do you think that could be helpful?

I have spoken to a few counselors and NONE of them helped if anything they made it worse.

On 11/7/2022 at 2:16 PM, Julian Ali said:

I have spoken to a few counselors and NONE of them helped if anything they made it worse.

Hey there,

That's interesting. Why do you feel they made it worse out of curiosity? 

22 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

That's interesting. Why do you feel they made it worse out of curiosity? 

TW: Suicide, Death

 

 

All they did was talk to me about what happened and what triggers me to make me want to die, ik they were really trying to help but they just made me relive it all and it made me want to die even more.

Hey there,

Ah, I see. I'm wondering, what happened after that? Did you tell them how it made you feel? 

17 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Ah, I see. I'm wondering, what happened after that? Did you tell them how it made you feel? 

Yes, I told them It made me feel like it was happening all over again, then they said that i was going to have to talk about it or i wasnt ever going to get past it

 

Hey there,

That's interesting that they mentioned how you would have to talk about it to get past it; what do you think about that? do you think that's right or wrong?

45 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

That's interesting that they mentioned how you would have to talk about it to get past it; what do you think about that? do you think that's right or wrong?

I think that's right but, I was never comfortable talking to them about anything, and I don't quite think I was/am ready to talk about all of it, certain parts of it  I can talk about but I just wish they wouldn't be so pushy.

On 11/10/2022 at 4:40 PM, Julian Ali said:

I think that's right but, I was never comfortable talking to them about anything, and I don't quite think I was/am ready to talk about all of it, certain parts of it  I can talk about but I just wish they wouldn't be so pushy.

Hey there,

I get that, and the thing is, you have to be ready to talk about it. You have to do it on your own terms and when you feel like the time is best fitted for you. That way, you will get the most out of it. What do you think?