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How to I fix my crippling self worth??


katori

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Hello!!

 

I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD two years ago, when I was 20. those two years have been amazing for self discovery etc, but I've noticed a decline in my self esteem and overall self worth. I think such a late diagnosis in life has contributed towards this, especially because I was bullied a lot. I always feel like the weird kid and I never feel like I fit in. I am so fixated on what other people think of me that I can never fully enjoy myself when I am with people. I always feel like I have no friends because I run away from people whenever they get too close. I am scared that people are going to see me as this annoying kid, even at 22 years old. I entered my first post-diagnosis relationship this February. He knows how I feel and is very patient with me, but I feel like I am self-sabotaging this relationship and I just don't know how to stop it. I feel like I constantly need his reassurance because I feel he has lost or will just lose interest in me, but obviously the more I express these issues, the more it can frustrate him (not the best word but can't think of a better one). I totally understand his frustrations as I have realised I have been projecting my insecurities onto him a bit, and I have relied a little too much on his reassurance. I know that the only way to fix this is from within, not by someone else. The problem is that I have no idea how. I feel so overhelmed by everything and I don't even know where to start. It doesn't help that my family is not the supportive type, with them telling me to just get over it. I know that I do have to eventually get over it, but how? If anyone has been through something similar or has any tips on how to start rebuilding your self worth, I would really appreciate it right now. Thank you to anyone that has read this :)

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Hey @katori Welcome to the Ditch the Label Community! ☺️

I am Daisie a Community Warden here on the forums and I ensure the Community remains a safe and positive place for all. I wondered whether you'd like to talk things through with one of our Trained Digital Mentors, I will tag them in for you so you know who they are and so they can reach out to you.  😊  @Monsoon & @Aurora

If you need anything in the meantime please feel to reach out. 

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Hey @katori

Thank you for reaching out to us here. It sounds like you definitely get caught up in how you're perceived by others, and we all struggle with this at some point, so it's completely expected to an extent. In your situation, it seems like this is really causing issues in your life, and we are well placed to help you with this. I'm wondering, would you like to start by reading out guide here on how to build self-esteem and let us know what you think? https://www.ditchthelabel.org/overcoming-low-self-esteem/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7fWK0_3u-QIVxYFQBh0roAAoEAAYASAAEgK7wfD_BwE - This is a really good starting point, especially the suggestion on setting goals. Take care and speak soon. 

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