Umm, where do I start? Ok, I’ll just put this into words…anyways, for the past three years, I have been depressed, mentally sick, and memories of my past creep around me. My mom has called the mental facility people like 5 times, and honestly, I don’t want to go, it all seems scary. I used to ( and sometimes do) hurt myself, when I’m angry over simple things I have done. It isn’t my fault for doing that or saying this, somethings I just can’t control. People joke about my sadness, it isn’t funny. I was alone for a whole school year, that’s how it all started. Covid ruined my life, I’m recovering from it all and no one respects me for it. People don’t want me in general, I try, I try so hard to be someone greater than my special ED label, be that girl who wrote a giant historical fiction novel. People exulde me at school, it hurts. Lately, I’ve been not eating a lot and lost weight ( I would eat more if I chose to), but I just have too much anxiety- there is a lot going on in the south and my dad agrees with every southern governor and it scares me because I have a different opinion than him, being demisexual ( well at least for now) and how my parents will react to it, war in Ukraine, and personal issues, all form into this bubble that I can’t pop. I just wish people saw my strengths and not my weaknesses, it would mean one less red scar on my arm. I just feel like nobody understands me, I can’t be sad or feel sad feelings, if I do I will be taken to a mental hospital automatically. So I have to hide everything inside of me, just like I have done before. I’m a great writer, but everyone sees the girl with dysgraphia. I don’t like love, yet people are always wanting me to like people. My family wants me to be happy, and I try to be happy, but I can’t be that happy girl I was in 2018. So, I’ll try to be less sad, but it’s hard when you are forced to smile, I’m hiding too much under it.