i realized last night how deeply rooted the trust issues i have are. i don't trust parental figures because of my dad and my ex-step-mom, who mentally/physical abused me from a young age. i don't trust friends because they've betrayed my trust by spreading lies about me, and even outing me before i was ready to come out. i don't trust romantic partners because the only one i've had has been really, really crappy, and hurt me really bad. idk what to do. it makes me feel guilty because i don't even trust the person i consider to be my best friend, which is another huge problem i have. i've only known them for around a year, and we've only been close for a few months, and even more so in the past few weeks. i was texting them last night, and they mentioned that they had had a breakdown and were shaking and i asked if they were okay and they were like "yeah. you've never asked if i was ok before. i didn't know you cared." and i freaked out and was thinking stuff like "how the fk could you let yourself care about someone again" and then responded to their text with something like "duh ofc i care dumba_s" and then i had a panic attack and cried for like, an hour because i put so much effort into not caring about other people that i didn't realize how much i was starting to care for my friend. i mean, in a completely platonic way, but still-
sssssooooooo yah that's my problem.
Edited by cruz?