Hey everyone! I´m feeling better than I was yesterday, but I wanna know how you guys feel. how are you guys doing? pronouns and everything :)
Question: whats one or more (if you want) favorite singers you like? I like Billie Eilish´s album Happier Than Ever, Halsey, FLETCHER, Selena Gomez, Melanie Martinez and more.
Why am I so surprised? Why.am.i.so.surprised? Ha, I thought I could get over you. I ACTUALLY thought that if I saw everything right before my eyes, if I saw your physical looks, that I’d stop. HA. It's really funny because when I said you owned my heartstrings, I wasn’t playing like any other time. I thought I did. My heart still stutters when I talk to you or hear your voice, and I hate it so badly. Why did I think that I could ever get over you, less just become friends with you, only become friends? I'm sorry that I want more from you. I just can’t for some reason. We’re not even close to soulmates. There are no signs, you don’t even like me, even our star signs don’t agree. Why am I so attracted and attached to you? You don’t even like me, less love me. Still deep inside I can’t move on. I’ve said that for every person, but impressing you or being dramatic for publicity isn’t it this time. Hopefully, I move on. I want to move on, and I have for everyone else, and yet I feel a lot more things for you than I ever did for my significant other. “I just wished you could give me a chance,” says my heart repeatedly to you but sadly the yearning is so quiet the whisper can’t be heard over the screen.
The need is so deeply buried within me that I feel the yearning so badly its a pain and I just wished you felt it I wish you knew how much I’m feeling for you, and man since this is the 6th month I’ve known you, I guess it's been 6 months since I STILL like you and I STILL can’t give it up. I gotta say if this is like cancer, it's going to be the worst death of me. This wanting so deep that sometimes I lay awake staring at the wall, or because of you, I can’t sleep at all, much like I am right now.
Even though we start each other's fires, fight until someone calls the cops, I’m still here, listening to your words that make no sense. I’m more than convinced that I’m still here, talking to you because I need, want, yearn, attract you. It's ridiculous, because how can I love someone and let them go so easily it looks cruel, but when I’m annoyed at someone like you and I love you, I feel like the most insane person on earth, or more like a different person. It’s like I don’t even recognize myself, like nothing pales in comparison to you, like all I can see, taste, see, feel is you, to the point that I want to reach out to some asylum to help with my symptoms. I’m this close to diagnosing myself with Stockholm syndrome because it feels a lot like that. Also meaning I need medical treatment or a therapist (thank you google for making sure I’m completely insane :)) and if I don’t get over you, I might as well consider it.