I have been offline for a while.
I dont mark it because its kind of when ever i have time or need to come on is when i come on
anyway I think I am slowly figuring out stuff or at least somewhat
I guess I feel better.
It could just feel this way because i was far away from home and the trip is still kind of winding down, but whatever
I am nervous to go back to school but I just have to try to keep my head up
At Taylor Swift says, It's fine to fake it till you make i
I went from being meow at to being treated like a puppy
sit down, run fast, no that isn't right
I have to fight the urge to scream SHUT UP A! She's driving me slowly but surely violent
not crazy, I'm already crazy
And then everyone is purposely trying to put a teacher in the hospital by wearing perfume
And i can't ever seem to find time to see the counselor
And when i was in a room with my friends i just felt so alone, like i was useless
they have other friends
so at school had the infinite crash of
ohmygod im afailure and won't get anywhere how will i live i hate everyone and everyone hates me i should crush them all
and then so sad at home because my mom and sister talked about putting away the lego and i can feel my childhood being striped away
and now im rocking out to music
I have not been in the christmas-y spirt, i cant lie
but the new year will be good *crossing fingers* *knocking on wood*
so i will post my resolutions
1. become more assertive
2 great grades- i'm done with just good
3 start my first book (its gonna be a good one!)
4 get a job
5 drivers license
6 live in the moment
7 speak up
8 self love
9 quote people to look smarter🤓
(for example: to quote taylor swift about #8 "hahaha i can't even say
Does anyone just dread their cousins?
i always am the one to look after them even though my sister is a babysitter
also, some of my cousins are MEAN
two of the where squirting water guns in me and my friends faces and called up stupid!
i will never have kids!
i am grateful to have friends but my 'friends in my class are so irritating.
They're always giving each other double standards and getting mad at each other for no damn reason
also, now there is a sketchy boyfriend in the equation
he swears at us a lot! and in a real mean way
its just irritating
thats why i want to have a birthday with no friends, so but i need air and less drama
i love my chickens, they are my babies
the very thing that chains me to the ground
i work hard
so damn hard even though it sometimes makes no difference
i am learning German because i learned that my family has intense German roots
I hate people, children, anyone when i ever my highly introverted phase
because eww, people
but people here are nice and im happy that im here
you may not like me here but i am beyond caring
because this is not school
i don't know why but all people pay attention to are my mistakes
the celebrate them
like they just fuckin thrive from my failure
i should've just stayed in that dam snowbank
Taylor Swift writes poetry that she sings
And I was catching my breath
Staring out an open window
Catching my death
And I couldn't be sure
I had a feeling so peculiar
That this pain would be for
Evermore
I've been having a hard time adjusting
I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting
I didn't know if you'd care if I came back
I have a lot of regrets about that
thank you, Taylor Swift,
I need feminism because my 12 year old sister stepped on the scale and is now crying
fuck body standards
fuck women body standards
fuck man body standards
fuck any body standerds
You can't change your weight sometimes
you can't change your face
body
anything
you can try but it won't ever be good enough for anyone else
so be you
please
this is why I'm ok with being 'ugly'
because to my friends I'm the hardly aggressive girl
and
so today is going fine, finally
got good grades
got complements in GYM
I'm still kind of worried though
can i be 'too much at times'?
i try not to but i also try to 'get out there'
its kind of irritating and scary at the same time
i stress about school too much
i used to be good with class discussions and doing more presentations but now its just stressful
also i am more and more fearful and hateful of my peers
i feel that everyone is watching and judging and i have a mix of self and other loathing
so i dread it every morning
i can't wait till February because im going on a trip though
also if you read my one post i'm sorry for bringing up that terrible roe vs wade thing, i was just caught up
So, my mom and dad are all 'you're so anti romance, just wait until you're screaming after boys
and I'm like
HEE HE HE WHAT YOU DONT KNOW IM NOT ANTI ROMANCE IM LESBIAN
i laugh so hard i want to cry
i hate gym
everyone judges me and I hate it. I find it useless and last year the gym teacher threw a flag in my face. WHY GYM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this may seem confusing, so I'll break it down
time 1: I tell her but I am so scared that I laugh hysterically, so it make sense that she didn't believe me that time
time2: she just doesn't believe me
time 3: i come out, and now she thinks that I'm bi
So, this might be the long time in a while that I post because my house has terrible internet. Updates:
Forever single
Lost 2 chickens
Looking to sell a chicken (either silkie rooster or chick)
The girl I admitted to my friends about liking still has no clue
So yah, unchanging
fun
Hi, this is Vega, or that's how you know me, if you do know me. I'll be quick and say I might write a lot, I might not. (ooh, mystery, this got exciting!) Basically ranting is why I'm here and if you hate mad people then this is not the place for you. But I am starting this with a poll because that seems like fun.
